Seeking The Soul: Kris Girrell

Seeking the Soul: Kris Girrell

By Rev. Michael Reed, Associate Director

Each month, our Associate Director Michael Reed interviews people to help us build an authentic spiritual community at Rolling Ridge. Today’s interview is with Kris Girrell, a Rolling Ridge Board Member, donor, and program leader. Kris talks with us about meeting Richard Rohr, the dark night of the soul, and coming alongside the spiritual journeys of people who are "spiritual but not religious."

Michael’s questions are in bold, followed by Kris’ answers in plain text.

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Kris, I’ve known you for a couple of years now. You’re a world-traveled speaker, an author several times over, an executive coach, and an athlete. You also do a lot for Rolling Ridge, as a retreat leader, Board member, donor, and cheerleader. How did you find Rolling Ridge, and what keeps you here?

The first time I came to Rolling Ridge was as a student of Margaret Benefiel who was offering a Day Apart session on the Soul of the Leader. I was awestruck by the beauty of the setting and captured by walking the labyrinth. So I started coming out just for some peaceful times and walking meditations. Then once I offered my first workshop here, I was in - hook, line, and sinker!

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What's your favorite unimportant thing about yourself?

Haha! Probably that I think I have every tool known to humanity (except a sawzall). I like building and fixing things and have just collected these tools.

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I saw a picture of you recently with Richard Rohr. You’ve had the chance to meet with Father Rohr several times now. And as you know, many folks in our Rolling Ridge community have been blessed by his teachings. Tell us about your experience meeting Richard, and what you came away with.

My dad told me once when I was a teenager that if I ever met a master to shut up, sit down and listen! I love listening to Richard, I love reading his daily meditations and I think I have read nearly every book he has written. I had been evolving my own sense of spirituality since I was a kid and he was the first writer who actually spoke into what I believed. But what I love most is that he taught me (an old hippie rebel from the 60s and 70s) that you cannot critique something from the outside. You have to be what he calls the “edge of the inside.” If I want to make change I have to be a part of the system I want to change.

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I know that you’re no stranger to success, but that you’re also no stranger to adversity. I’m thinking especially of your battle with cancer, and your work and writings surrounding the “Dark Night of the Soul.” Can you expand on that?

I think that the way of life and the way of the universe is always through the pattern of death and rebirth, or of breakdown before breakthrough. Especially as we mature, we always have to let go of the old ways, the old beliefs before we can step into a new one or a new way of being. This is difficult for an overeducated academic like me whose ego wants to hold on to “knowing.” 

I have found through the various dark night passages that only not knowing creates the space to be able to learn. I have had to learn that there are no real answers and I’ve even had to learn not to ask the questions. That doesn’t mean we should not be curious — that’s a necessity on the spiritual journey of life — but that those types of questions that come from our egoic need to have control or mastery over the stuff of life have to be done away with.

The illusion that any of this (beyond yourself) is within your control must be dumped. But I think that what we must have the courage to do is to listen with love and compassion to those not like ourselves.

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More and more, people report identifying with no particular faith practice or traditions. A lot of people feel spiritually homeless. What makes Rolling Ridge unique—and perhaps uniquely positioned to be part of the solution?

I think that is perhaps the best part of what we offer. The Ridge is a place of welcome — it’s like this big open-armed place saying “Welcome home — you belong here!” Whether that is built into our programs offered on-site or in the ways we reach into the communities, Rolling Ridge welcomes spiritual seekers from any and all walks of life.

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Speaking of which, can you talk to us about your work with Jennifer Revill on Spiritual Emergence—and your next retreat this Friday, Nov. 15th?

This will be the third such offering that Jennifer and I have done after a previous one I presented a few years ago along the same lines. Spiritual Emergence explores the various pathways of spiritual development that take us beyond the confines of traditional religions. It’s really more an exploration session than a presentation of any type. We view this as an opening to further in-depth discussions on the nature of spiritual development. To that end, Jennifer and I will be offering a five-part Spiritual Seeker series in the winter/spring of 2025 on topics like Awe and Wonder, Transcendence and Transcendent Experiences, Spiritual Impasse, Spirituality in Contemporary Society, and Finding Spiritual Community.

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Can you tell us about an “aha” moment you witnessed or were part of through your work at Rolling Ridge? When did you see some “get it,” and what happened as a result?

A woman came to one of the Day Apart retreats I was offering and as we were doing a certain exercise, I noticed that she flushed and was welling up with tears. I asked her what was coming up for her, and she said that all her life she had been told that she was wrong for believing what she did. Her church did not approve and she felt pushed out by the others there. She told us that coming to the Ridge was the first time she had ever felt like she belonged and was accepted.

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You’re willing to put your money where your mouth is, as a donor to the Ridge. You’re also investing your time as a Board member. From your perspective, what about this place inspires you to give personally? 

I strongly support the ideals and values behind the Ridge. The staff and associates of Rolling Ridge really walk the talk of spirituality and living into what Jesus taught - radical acceptance and unconditional love. How can you resist that?

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What’s a spiritual lesson that you’ve learned from an unlikely source—maybe running the Boston Marathon (four times!), your interest in AI, or your travels around the globe?

There’s a deeply spiritual lesson that comes from all of those things and that is letting go of my attachment to what I think things should be. An easy example is flying: If you’re traveling and are all attached to having a smooth flight or being on time, you will be in for a lot of upset. But for us (my wife and I) we have learned to let go of that and when there’s a cancellation or delay, we have learned to let it slide and just work toward the next flight or rerouting the trip. Even just that changes others - the agents booking us are less stressed, others seem to calm down and it becomes more of an adventure. Bigger things like an exploded disc while running the marathon are more like life-altering events that have taught me to let go of my attachment to being an athlete or of being this or that thing that my ego had taken such pride in. Those are a bit tougher but are all part of the same process.

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What’s a quote or epigram that you try to live by? Maybe something that pretty much everyone would be better off having in their head and heart?

Personally, I live by a short epigram by George Bernard Shaw called “The Splendid Torch” - it’s my mantra and I am always commending it to others. It ends by saying. “Life is no brief candle for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it off to future generations.”

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Registration is still open for the “Spiritual Emergence” on November 15th with Kris Girrell and Jennifer Revill. Click here to register.

Or join Kris and Jennifer at the upcoming online "Spiritual Seekers" series on the first Tuesdays (February through June) in 2025.  Click here for details.

Kris is currently working on a new book entitled “Spiritually Homeless,” exploring the phenomenon of the “Nones,” and increasing numbers of people who identify as “Spiritual but not Religious” or the “Nones.” Learn more about Kris on his website: https://innerworks-consulting.com/

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